How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
