i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ladies don't puke and tell
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
