Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
