It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
