hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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