I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
