I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
