No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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