I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
