____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
