I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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