before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
