Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
