If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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