My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
