one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Randomize
