whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
