therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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