we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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