I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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