even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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