She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
