its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
