No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
