that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
