the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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