My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
