Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
