i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
