Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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