my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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