just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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