do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
