Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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