He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
