i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
