so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
