we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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