i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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