Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
