why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
