I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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