Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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