I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
