I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
should my penis look like a turkey
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
