Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
