I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
