I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
