btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
