What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
