I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
